I like early mornings. Which is lucky, because I get a lot of them, being woken up with an aching leg. That I’m not so keen on. I also like late nights, I’ve always been a night owl, but a steady mix of work, early mornings and child-care is slowly putting paid to the later nights. Not really a bad thing when you’re waking at 5.30am each day.
My medication was tweaked a week ago. That’s OK. It was in need of a review. It had been wearing off too quickly, so I thought. In actual fact it appears I just needed to move my last dose back an hour. I also now need to remember to actually take that ‘optional’ last sinemet at around 7.00pm. Turns out it’s not as optional as I hoped.
I always feel weird when this happens. Thankfully I’ve not needed many ‘tweaks’ up to now, but I’m sure many more lie ahead. I almost cried when I had finished talking to the neurologist. Almost. Later I did cry. Quite a bit. One of those horrible moments we all get sometimes when you realise without a constant supply of medication you don’t work so well. It pours over me, like a blanket. I closed my eyes and tried not to feel desperate. I blinked back my tears.
Because sometimes it feels as though Parkinson’s is like a scary Doctor Who baddie. “Resistance is futile. Surrender immediately.” I don’t want to surrender. I want to fight back. Yet, fighting endlessly with no end does become terrifically hard.
There’s a reason I often write how much I hate my exercises. Those constant reminders. I’m not someone good at remembering them, making time and doing them. I should be. Time and again I promise myself I will do them. Time and again I fail. Yet it’s my choice. I can sit and watch TV, indolent and tell myself I deserve it, or I can hit back at this creeping disease. Sometimes one wonders what the point of it all is, yet the natural counter argument is, where would I be WITHOUT all the hideous stretching, moving and balance? How much worse would I have been? I shudder to think. I don’t want to find out.
So here I am, drinking tea and writing. I guess I should go do some exercise instead. Strength of body has got to be a good thing, and nobody got fitter sitting on the sofa.
Physio, anyone?
Until next time, Kitty.
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Kitty Fitton is a motivational speaker, MC and comedian. She is also a full-time blogger and writer. She is mother to four small people and was very cross to discover she had Parkinson’s Disease.
Find out more at her personal site below.
Emma Kyriacou is a real-life ninja. Taking up Karate to help fight her Parkinson’s Disease, she’s co-founder of Good Moves and is passionate about promoting exercise to improve mobility and neuroplasticity. (Is that a word? It should be.)
Find out more at her personal site below.